The Foundations of Female Attraction

 I wrote this for my teenage son, who is now very curious how to impress girls. Right now it mostly seems to involve fantasies of building massive muscles and strategically losing your shirt so she'll notice. 

So I felt the need to clue him in on what actually impresses the female half of the population. I put this up here in case it is useful for anyone else clueless how to impress a woman.

Foundations of Female Attraction

 LEVEL 1: Faith in Something greater than himself. Having Convictions, Principles and the Courage to act on those convictions----The girl is picking her LEADER. If he doesn’t know where he’s going or what he’s doing, or what he believes in---she’s not going to want to follow. It would be like you signing up for an army you have no idea for what country or what rules they follow or what religion.

2.       LEVEL 2: Mental Discipline. You must master yourself. A girl wants to know you have mastered your emotions and your anger. So that you are in charge, not your emotions. That she is obeying you, not your whims. Also that you work hard, can push yourself to do hard things. She wants to know you have mastered yourself, so she knows she she can trust you with herself and your future kids. 

3.       LEVEL 3: Kind to the weak. Having strength, but not being a bully, but a protector of the helpless. This is huge. How a man treats those who cannot reward him. Not in how he treats the boss, but the old penniless lady. Small children. Protects the weak and does not prey on them. Unselfish. Fearing God. Knowing that strength was given to him, as a trust. With great power comes great responsibility. In attractiveness: Spiderman > thug.

4.      LEVEL 4: Comportment & Posture. How you carry yourself in relation to the world. Slouching aristocrat or an alert soldier? This is self defence 101. Who do thugs choose to jump in parking lots?[link here] For most people, it is subconscious. People will decide what you are, who you are. It's how you know someone is ex-military. It's one of the factors when girls swoon for men after they go through bootcamp. Often their physique actually hasn't changed that much---but their comportment has. Soldiers hold themselves like they know what they are doing---like they are men. With a purpose. And know that they are a force to be reckoned with. Criminals aren't the only ones who notice your posture.

5.      LEVEL 5: Hygiene. Be considerate of not grossing people out. Girls are even  more grossed out than boys. They have been guardians of the home for millennia and lost children to disease. FIGHT NURGLE. Wash your hands, don’t pick your nose. Don’t make weird scraping sounds with phlegm in your throat like you’re dying of whooping cough. Blow your nose with proper form, and wash hands afterwards. Smell NOT-BAD. (really, Axe, stinks. It's a triumph of modern marketing that young men still think it works)

a.       Breath---xylitol after meals. Brush teeth, floss, ACT

b.       Underarm, vinegar, deodorant. Change clothes every day

c.      !!!! If you work out or labor or sweat---shower. Rancid sweat smell is like a dead animal. (usually only gets to that point several days in, I think based on my memories of my little brother)

d.       Scalp Care [Scalp wash routine, Vinegar rinse, keep dandruff away]

6.       LEVEL 6: Physique. Having muscles, looking strong enough to protect her and your future kids, is a definite plus. Having good posture (level 4) really helps maximize this. That is, a skinnier man who stands with good posture looks better than a slouching muscular guy. Girls in general aren't as impressed by strength just existing, as strength with purpose. Important note! While having a good physique is a plus, a man who is constantly taking selfies of his abs is a major turn-off for a lot of women. A girl wants you to want to look at her, not the mirror! Narcissus and Echo did not go well.

7.       LEVEL 7: Style. Hairstyle--- keep it relatively short (obviously male) and out of your eyes. Hair Gel can help. Clothing---Pick clothing that flatters you, AND sends the message you want. [e.g. medieval, loves certain movie, etc]

        Girls aren't irrational after all. These foundations of attraction really all boil down to---will he be man enough to protect me and our children, and man enough to love me and our children even when its hard.

She's signing up to follow you, after all. It's like signing up for the marines, but for your whole life, and to follow a specific sergeant till you die. You want to make sure that commander is up to snuff before you swear on.

And coming back to "Level 1" and why it is the foundation of everything else. She needs to know this sergeant is following the same General. 

And even when storms come, and when you fail, she needs to know that you will be man enough to repent, and turn to follow your God even through suffering.

All Dinner Meals for Meal-Planning

 Dinners List so I can have it all in one place. These shall become links when I actually write the recipes down.

Basic Principle is have a   Protein + Vegetable + Carb, so that I can keep my prediabetes in check, by controlling how much I eat of each. 

Hacks for making the Carbs less crashy---

1. Twice cooked carbs 
1. Instantpot precooked potatoes [8 min, 1 cup water] that get fried in butter/beef fat. 
2. Pre-cooked rice heated up again, or fried in a risotto or stir fry
2. Cauliflower risottos that are very very good. [shredded in the food processor, cooked in olive oil/butter, then add in butter/cream cheese/spices. It's actually even better than rice risotto IMHO]
3. Eating my curries & sauces over Green Beans instead of rice with EXTRA tomato chutney [fresh salsa]

Remember, salads can become cabbage salads, or be swapped out with hot cooked (from frozen) vegetables if you make it further from the grocery shopping date.

Chicken Breast

• Basil Lime Chicken Breast [Oven or Grill] + 
• "Factor Meal" Sour Cream Salsa Chicken Breasts + Cauliflower Risotto + Green Beans
• Fajita Chicken + Onions & Bell Peppers
• Tikka Masala Chicken + Green Beans + Fresh Salsa
• Orange Chicken [Gen Tso's Chicken]

      

  Chicken bone-in

          Bone in chicken [cheap in the 10 pound frozen bags]

• Chicken Enchilada casserole + Fresh Salsa + Salad + Sour Cream
• Crockpot Shredded Chicken Tacos with Black Beans and Cheese + Salad + Fresh Salsa
• BIR curry Chicken + Lentils + Fresh Salsa + Green Beans + Indian Cauliflower Risotto
• Bone Broth Chicken Soup
• Oven Roasted [or Grill] "Turkish" chicken + Stovetop Brocolli + Rice// Cauliflower Risotto
• ?Barbecue Chicken [frozen leg quarters, 5-7 hrs in barbecue sauce, slowcooker]
• ?Barbacoa Chicken OR Taco Chicken [frozen leg quarters, 5-7 hrs in barbecue sauce, slowcooker]

Beef 

• Marinated Stovetop Steaks [or Grilled Steaks] + Loaded Potatoes + Green Beans + Bell Peppers
• Hobbit Stew
• Meuk-Guk
• Russian Beef Soup
• Instant-Pot Pulled Beef [Barbacoa or Barbecue] [because of our sweet little Ana] + Bell Peppers + Dinner Rolls
• Philly Cheese steaks
• Mary Ann's Beef & Lentils
• Steak Fajitas w/ bell peppers and onions

Ground Beef 

• InstantPot Fauxsagnia
• Tacos + Fresh Salsa
• Smashburgers
• ?Sherri's White Bean Chili + Salad
• Grilled Burgers from Samsclub [when we have a gas grill...]

Lentils/Beans [so easy to mealprep]

• Favorite Indian Lentil Recipe + Raita + Fresh Salsa + [Pomegranates, and Dark Chocolate, and Tea]
• Whole Spices Indian Curry
• Nut Curry
• BIR green curry [get the right name]
• BIR Beef + Lentils, Vindaloo Curry
• Prep a big batch of refried beans and freeze for Taco Tuesdays
• Falafel & Hummus + Cilantro Raita + Fresh Tomatoes & Salad + Flatbread

Fish

• Canned Sardines/Mackerel with "Factor Meal" sauce [Sour Cream Fresh Salsa Sauce] and capers...so good
• Canned Sardines with Salsa Verde [tomatillos n onions] and Sour cream (do not overcook tomatillos)
• Tilapia Fillets + Butter-Fried precooked potatoes + Green Beans/Brocolli
• Tuna Fish sandwiches or chip-dip [made with Ninja blender-egg-may replacement], and chips

Cheese/Eggs 

• Instantpot Mac n Cheese + Peas +
• Fettecini Alfredo + [Meat Roast/Ham] + Cauliflower Mushroom Rissotto + Green Beans
• Grilled Cheese Sandwiches + Tomato Soup +
• Cheesy Taters [Ye Olde Standby] FANCY if its in the toaster oven
• Bibimbap + Korean Spinach + Kongnamul +

    Pork 

Only really if our sweet little Ana changes her mind....

• Barbecue Pulled Pork + Rolls + Green Beans [Make some barbecue chicken for Ana]
• Korean Style [Bulkogi style marinade] Pork + Rice + Kongnamul & Korean Spinach [make some 
• Sundry delicious looking Pork-Chop Recipes, yet untried

Once A month grocery plan

 For this to work, you need to have a very clean and organized freezer. No dead-space of freezer-burned bags of unrecognizable leftovers you are afraid to try to autopsy. No Turkeys from last years Thanksgiving sale, taking up space.

With 8 kids +2 parents, I think it would take a up my 25 cubic foot refrigerater/freezer, plus some in my standing freezer. I am curious to try this out more ways.

I used to do something similar to this, when grocery shopping was a fraught ordeal with 5 little kids. We did a 2 week grocery plan, with my husband running out to get just milk on the off-weeks.

I wrote this out for my sister who lives in the country 45 minutes away from her main grocery store, and 15 min from a more expensive grocery store, which is best just to get milk.

Once A month/Every Two Weeks grocery plan

Plan for 5 good dinners a week. [2 left over nights]. So that comes out to about 20-25 meals. Here is my master list of dinners we like.

Prep 5 dinners per category, so 25 gallon Ziploc bags, in the freezer ready for instantpot cooking. [Or crockpot]

Dinners with side of FROZEN VEG, and raw crunchy veg.

• Chicken [Prep 5 dinners from this from X pounds]
• Beef [Prep 5 dinners from this from X pounds]
• Ground Beef
• Lentils/Beans
• Fish/Cheese/Eggs 

Sample Grocery List [staples]

These aren't including stuff you normally stock up on, like vanilla extract, lentils, tomato paste etc.

• DAIRY [keeps well, coldest part of the fridge at the top]
• Butter [we use LOTS for all the growing brains]--[also freezes well]
• Cottage Cheese
• Sour Cream/Heavy Cream 
• Milk for Yogurt-making
• Yogurt, if you don't have any, yogurt for starter. You can freeze yogurt starter in batches. [the bacteria freezes fine] "Icelandic Provisions" introduced when the boiled milk hits 120 is the best. Dannon is good too. The key is to do the boil function on the milk, and introduce the starter when its at 120-115, and whisk it well.
• Milk---it takes up a lot of space, and expires. We drink about 1 gal/day. More on this later.
• Fresh Vegetables
• Leafy Vegs [need to eat within 3 days of purchase]
• Tomatoes [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Bell Peppers [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Cauliflower [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Cucumbers [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Celery [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Carrots [will last the month]
• Red Cabbage, Beets [will last the month], 
• Onions, garlic, ginger [will last the month, also can freeze]
• Potatoes [if it is a hot summer, you will want to eat these in the first 2 weeks from purchase. Or cook in the instant pot, and then store in a tupperware in the coldest top back of the fridge]
• Frozen Vegetables
• Frozen Green Beans
• Frozen Brocolli
• Frozen Peas
• [Frozen Cauliflower]
• CHEESE [freezes well, esp the shredded stuff you want to freeze so it doesnt mold]
• Cheddar
• Mozzarella
• MEAT
• Chicken [bone in legs or thighs are usually cheapest, in 10 lb bags]
• Beef
• Ground Beef
• Canned Sardines
• Canned Tuna
• Frozen Tilapia
• Eggs [Can hardboil, or blanch, to lengthen storage, but I have found my eggs will last a month just fine. But you've got chickens!]
• Flour, Yeast, Sugar Salt [make your bread]

You can freeze butter, cheese, etc. Frozen Veggies are happy to live in the freezer for a few  months. And you must freeze the meat as soon as you get home, anyways. Get it out of the plastic and styrofoam trays, rinse it, salt it, and seal it in ziplocs and put in the freezer, to be thawed when needed.

So you really only need to go to the grocery store once a month for most meats if you are very organized with your freezer.  

The two biggest choke-points are fresh veggies and milk. More on this later.

Breakfasts

• First Week Breakfasts  [first week, for crunchy raw veggies]
• Fresh Veggies with a home-made hummus dip, or cheese dip.
• Tomato-mozz-basil slices.
• Devilled eggs and celery sticks.
• Cottage cheese or Yogurt with frozen berries/nuts for parfait, OR make Buercher Muesli
•  Custard or Ninja Egg Pudding
• Hummus or Cheese dip ['pub cheese' you can also make this yourself] and crunchy Vegs [cucumber, baby carrots, bell pepper, Celery]
• Scrambled eggs on toast
• Cast-Iron fried dinner Leftovers aka “Hash” [can use ninja blender to blend up leftover meat, potatoes, vegetables] + fried eggs on the side.

Lunches [side of fresh raw crunchy veg]

• Kyudumbap + Cabbage Salad
• Cheesey bread [fried in butter if feeling fancy] + Cabbage Salad
• Cheesey potatoes [precooked potatoes in fridge] + Cabbage Salad
• Fried Rice [dinner leftovers in a frying pan] + Cabbage Salad
• Hardboiled eggs + veg assortment
• Any of the ‘breakfast’ items here + Cabbage Salad

STAPLES TO KEEP IN THE FRIDGE

1.      Instantpot cooked potatoes, in fridge, to be fried [cut in half, fry in butter or lard, sprinkle with garlic salt]
2.      CABBAGE SALAD
3.      Hardboiled eggs [can do the Korean Pickled eggs, if your kids like them]
4.      Sauerkraut/Kimchi/KimchiKraut
6.      Freezer stocked with Green Beans, Peas, Brocolli [winco]
7.      FREEZER BAG to collect bones, FOR stock
8.      FREEZER BAG to collect leftovers---for hash, and for fried rice

Remember...THE FREEZER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

Other Staples to have on hand

Xylitol mints for teeth

The Main Challenges

Milk. It takes up space and does not freeze well. Even when I did the 'every 2 week grocery plan', Josh had to run out on the off-weeks and buy 6 gallons of milk. [our weekly milk usage, and usually all we could fit in the fridge.] This is where its good to have a plan to get milk on the off-weeks if possible. If this isn't an option, I think its possible to buy 12 gallons for 2 weeks, and consume all your milk as yogurt in the 2nd week. Or just eat lots of cheese in the intervening milk-less weeks.

Fresh Vegetables. The leafy ones [lettuce, fresh spinach] must be eaten within 3 days of buying. Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Celery, and Bellpeppers last maybe a week, depending. Cabbage and Carrots will last you the longest, up to a month [or more]. But thats a lot of cabbage and carrots to eat. You can get really creative with different cabbage salads. Hot Vegetables [cooked brocolli, buttered green beans, peas, frozen spinach---all from frozen vegs---can be eaten whenever. So you could end up with a system where the first week is the fresh crunchy vegetable week, and the remaining 3 weeks are lots of cabbage salad, carrots sticks, and Hot Vegetables (cooked frozen vegetables, in garlic and olive oil).]

OR....drumroll....the garden. It's amazing what you can get even out of a tiny garden.

You will get the best reward from your work with Herbs, Leafy Greens, and Tomatoes

Grow. 

Winter Garden

Leafy Greens [Spinach, Kale, Lettuce] by the truckload

Chives, Herbs, etc.

Cucumbers

[Hothouse] Tomatoes

[if you have space and time, all the other interesting stuff, beets to pickle, celery, carrots, brocolli, cabbage, etc. These tend to be cheaper than over veg at the grocery store, and easy to store like cabbage, or easy to freeze like brocolli, so I am less motivated to figure them out]

Summer Garden

Tomatoes

Bell Peppers

Gennip [sesame leaves...so delicious for everything]

Greens---new zealand spinach, Swiss Chard, some varieties of kale, Malabar spinach

Basil by the truckload---make into pestos for the winter

Yardlong beans [can take the  heat]

Armenian Cucumber/Snake Melon [cucumber that wont' go bitter]

Zuchini by the truckload

Combatting Insomnia Round 2---breathing allergies cured by sardines [macrocytic anemia]---- Now onto glucose management!

I wrote about this earlier in my troubleshooting breathing issues with inflamed sinuses, and  combatting insomnia round 1

Breathing Issues Neutralized or Solved?

The breathing issues are gone---none whatsoever. Which may be why I'm getting a solid 6 hours now, instead of 3-4 hour chunks. [I used to wake up and then need to sneeze 3x and drink a hot cup of tea to calm down my sinuses to lie down again]

1.  Dust Free Sleep environment. Deep Cleaning my room!
1. I got all the exposed fabrics out of the room, clothes only in the closet or in a dresser. 
2. Washed curtains once a month. 
3. Washed my sheets every 7 days. BUT washed my pillowcases every 3 days. I picked up a bunch of 100% cotton pillowcases at the thrift store, and now throw pillowcases in with the other laundry constantly, to have a steady stream of clean pillowcases.
4. I washed my blankets & quilts and ran them through the dryer ever 2 weeks
5.  Mopped the hard surfaces
6. Was vigilant about not letting kids climb over my bed as a couch during the day. They track in pollens etc. Was vigilant about not sitting on my bed as a couch during the day as well.
7. Also, maybe the summer pollen count not being as bad as the fall/spring...
8. Ironically...getting more sleep. This is recursive. Interesting how my twin says her breathing issues get worse on sleep deprivation. That poor sleep actually increases allergies. [a destructive positive feedback loop here]
9. Air filter running (but I had this all along. I think with a dusty room it didn't help)
2. Fish Fix Also my twin got diagnosed with macrocytic (sp?) anemia, which is an anemia caused by some people with this gene needing stuff in sea-weed and sardines and daenjang....so Korean blood needs Korean food, I suppose. As my Korean mom always said "If I don't eat Korean food for 2 weeks, I get sick". So more sardines, more kimchi, more Miyeok Guk AND---macrocytic anemia causes worse respiratory symptoms, and exacerbates respiratory allergies. When my twin (with horrible dust-mite allergies) at a strictly Korean diet, all of her allergic symptoms went away.

Getting 6 hours, and able to fall back asleep afterwards, but struggling with tiredness....Glucose?

 I am now getting 6 hours a night, zero breathing issues. I don't even wake up sneezing, like I used to for months.

So now, when I wake up after 6 hours, I sometimes doze back for small trippy dream chunks. (Which I didn't used to be able to do). So that's a plus. BUT.....I will crawl out of bed, 8 hours after I went in, very tired still, despite being in bed 8 hours and having (I think) a solid 6 hours.

I will often mispell words (for me, a sign of sleep deprivation). Lately I have been spelling things like "King Arther" and "whent to the store". This is a sign I've had for 10 years, that I'm not sleeping well. But right now, its when I appear to be sleeping, but still wake up tired and can't spell.

I have trouble remembering, and generally feel overall crappy & tired.

From my research, excessive cortisol makes it hard to sleep long. AND having too much glucose in your blood at night also messes with sleep.

Glucose is my old enemy. I remember when I was taking my blood-sugars for my pregnancy with Irene, whenever I woke up so tired, waking blood sugar was over 85. When I woke up feeling extremely tire, more tired than when I went to bed, it was 95-100.

When I woke up feeling ok, it was usually in the 80-85 range. When I woke up feeling awesome, my waking blood sugar was 75. 

So sleeping with highish blood sugar (note, still within range for doctors saying its ok) but I could literally FEEL the difference between a waking blood sugar of 80 and a blood sugar of 95.

Back when I was battling gestational diabetes, I would eat nothing carb-y at dinner (I still ate green beans etc, with my lentil curry, so some carbs---but no grains, no wheat, no pasta, etc), and I would sleep better. Also, I had to eat early dinners, and no snacks afterwards---not even cheese or vegetables. I suppose this was a 'time restricted feeding' sorta thing, though I didn't realize it. I just knew that not eating for a good stretch before trying to go to sleep helped me wake up rested.

Breathing issues solved. Next up: Blood Sugar

1. Keep evening glucose LOW
1. Build muscle mass to help with glucose management----Lift 2x/week. GOAL: Gain 7 lb of muscle by Christmas 
2. Early (5/5:30pm) Low-Carb/Keto-ish Dinners? [make sure you eat more food earlier] 
3. ?Running machine to soak up glucose---but it must be a good bit before bed, so as not to spike your cortisol before sleep----you are all done by 7pm [so like 1 mile, resistance 5-10, right after dinner]
2. LIGHT and Circadian Rhythms
1. SUNLIGHT---20 min walk in the morning, in the early morning sunlight together. 6am
2. Make sure all the blue light filters are on on the computers
3. Meditate/give our worries to God/Pray together before bed by candlelight.
4. Find and set aside a Josh-Hannah talking time. And make it illegal for Hannah to talk after 10pm??? [then must go to our room by 9:30pm]
3. CLEAN AIR---Keep bedroom clean 
4. Fish Fish---eat Meukguk every Wednesday, Kimchi, Daenjang, and Sardines a few times a week to cure Macrocytic Anemia, and help with the Respiratory system.

Combatting Insomnia: Round One

UPDATE: These things helped, but most of all, what is helping is wearing earplugs (30 db, the orange foam ones you can twist in with the little blue handle, from walmart, a big pack for $5). It helps me sleep much better, getting 7 hrs, roughly 11pm to 6am.  And *always keeping the same schedule*, getting ready for bed when the sleepiness starts {10:30}, never pushing through to the "2nd wind", that really messes me up. And getting some exercise in.

UPDATE: Round Two here

 Struggling with Insomnia since fall 2023.

Underlying conditions...trauma? hormones? sublimated grief? perimemopause after uterine loss?

Things to try

Routine is everything. Build in the circadian rhythm. Work with your natural rhythm.

• Non-negotiable bedtime. Must be 8 hours in bed. (So working backwards from my inevitable 6am wake up, I need to be in bed at 10pm.)
• I need to go out in the morning sunlight. Melatonin levels

Build in the wind-down time. There are things you want to do. Find a time for it and work it in, so you are not tempted to stay up at night to do them.

• Downtime, to write
• Downtime, to pray, Bible, Journal
• Time to have that happy rocking and chatting time with the girls
• Time to talk to Josh (!) or I end up doing soliliquies at 11pm....

Prepare ahead of time, so you aren't dog-tired pushing yourself to get things done and then you realize you need to do these things before bed, and then kick off another wake cycle and climb into bed awake, having sacrificed the sleepy wave to try to rush to do them all.

• AHEAD OF TIME do these things
• Jammies Brush Teeth
• Check the washing machine, 
• putaway food, brush my teeth, EARLIER so I don't suddenly realize

Sleep Conducive environment---Clean Quiet Dark Room.

• Socks
• Warm blankets. Cool head.
• White noise
• Earplugs
• Black out curtains
• Make the kids be quiet before 7am.

When you do wake up, salt lamp light. Prayer.

• No screens during insomnia night. No bright lights.
•  If you have ideas, write them down in a journal by salt-lamp. 
• Read the Bible by salt lamp. 
• Have a prayer-journal by salt-lamp.

Exercise. My ancestors got a ton more exercise than I do. [drawing water from teh well, kids on their backs, farming with hand tools, etc] If that was the norm for millenia, it is highly unlikely that there's no connection between the sudden rise in insomnia and the sudden lack of physical exercise.

• 20 min of cardio, every day, on the treadmill, breathing through my nose
• Strength training
• Try to work outside [gardening etc] at dawn, a little every day

Combatting Allergies: my thoughts at 4 am with inflamed sinuses....

 UPDATE: Cure found here?

Root Causes: Immune system is funky. Off kilter. Over-reacting. Jumpy. Touchy. Just plain weird.

Symptoms: 

• nasal congestion at night. It feels like my body is actually producing more mucous as soon as I lie down,
• The "swelling feeling" in my sinuses when I lie down to sleep [sometimes with the 'popping' sound like a creaking wood ship, can feel it many successive pop pops. Sometimes squeaks.[hear inside my head, like that awful poprock candy]
• Vicious [cycle?] of only being able to sleep 3 hr chunks, often up for 1 hr between chunks. Getting only 6ish hours total of sleep a night. 
•  Itchy eyes. Tired all the time.

Clues: 

1. Mold in my twin's AC, and that time 3 yrs ago, my AC.
2. Start sneezing a lot around Bermuda grass and cats. But when one allergy worse, all worse. Bc its an immune thing. Allergies seem to piggyback. When one is bad, then everything else gets worse.
3. Josh had bad allergies for 10 yrs. Took cetirizine and levo-cetirizine. Then finally gave up allergy meds, and 70% if his symptoms went away. The pills will help with the flare out, but consistent long term use overall made the problem worse. So in this case, drugging his immune system gave short term relief at the cost of long term symptoms. As if the immune system was 'rebelling' to being drugged, and then net, overcompensating. ?Like moving around in a canoe?
4. When I take allergy medicine [tried 3 kinds] I just feel exhausted and tired when I wake up, despite having supposedly more sleep.
5. ??Always allergies in the Spring, like March, April. When the heat really hits, it recedes. Then comes back in the fall, Oct, Nov?? I remember it being REALLY BAD March and April 2023. Got air filters, felt like I was jsut falling apart. But the allergies weren't even the cause, it felt like even when it went away, I slept poorly. Then it was bad again, in March/April 2024, wasn't sleeping well, so I got all social and invited people over bc I was sorta sleep deprived uninhibited all the time. Fall 2022, we had found mold in the AC unit. [Spring of 2022 I really started noticing my allergies getting worse]. Something to do with AZ wildflower weeds? Am I just allergic to my own house? What is going on?
6. ?Twin in 2020 went on a mostly korean diet, dust mite allergies went away
7. ?Identical twin sister always had mmuch worse allergies than me. Same genetics, same environment, but as if the switch "flipped" earlier. Cat allergies from teenhood. My cat allergies didn't start till 28 yrs old. Used to be able to share a pillow with a cat. Hah.
8. ?I have been sleeping poorly since March 2024, what would have been Anthony's due date. Good nights I get 7 hrs. Maybe 30% of the time. Reverse insomnia, inability to sleep longer than 3.5 hrs. Up middle of the night, alergies, etc. 70% of the time. Inability to 'sleep in'. Last few months, 6 almost solid hrs on a good night. more like 3 + 2/3 hr chunks. Tired throughout the day. Now in Spring of 2025, allergies flaring in April again. Not as bad as last year, but really bad the last week, despite no rain. 

Things that help my allergies: 

• sitting up. 
• Hot tea.  
• ???helps or is just a result? SLEEPING WELL.
• Not being near cats or bermuda grass

Things to try: 

1. Exercise, cardio, every day, while forcing myself to breath through my nose. Need to make my brain get used to that.
2. Boost Immune system with Fruits and Vegs and sunlight. Vitamin C, magnesium etc. Eat lots of fruits and Veg and meat and sauerkraut. Get 20 min of vitamin D sunlight on my skin in the winter. Sit on a bench with my back to the sun during the winter. [wear a hat]
3. KIMCHI every day 
1. We found a significant inverse association between kimchi consumption and the asthma. We believe that this is the first study showing an inverse relationship between kimchi consumption and asthma in adults. Source
4. Yogurt every day
1. A study in the journal Clinical and Experimental Allergy found that people with allergies who consumed Lactobacillus casei, a probiotic found in yogurt, had lower levels of antibodies that respond to allergic reactions
5. Sauerkraut every day. Home-made [live] Sauerkraut every day [why not?] Its white people's kimchi and they've been doing it thousands of years.
6. Try to get good sleep to boost immunse system [hah]. So good sleep schedule. e.g. in bed by 10:15 pm, every night, no matter what. Start the same nightly routine, every night, at 9:45 pm, no matter what. Date night with Josh every week [or 2x/week?], where we talk, so I don't end up doing random talking times late at night. Not Youtube in the evenings. 
7. Go on an evening walk/outside during the golden hour. Be exposed to pollens in a calm relaxed setting. Try to make my warhawk immune system realize the pollen isn't an invader. e.g. "See immune system? These are friends..."
8. Don't use my bed as a couch during the day. [or let kids into my room during the day] Introduces allergens. Get a shorter pew bench in my room, before the bed, to sit on. ?cut off access to the bed with furniture, so kids less likely to play hide n seek on it? Lock up my room during the day as much as possible. Keep it as allergen free as possible. Spend the rest of the day desensitizing  myself to allergens, but make my bedroom as allergen free as possible.
9. Air filter in bedrooms [already doing it, doesn't seem to be doing much] 
10. Clean out my bedroom until its all hard surfaces. No soft surfaces except the bed. 
11. Wash sheets&blankets every WEEK on hot. USE THE HIGH cycle on the dryer for sheets & blankets [kills dust mites]. In the winter, you can just run the blanket on high heat once a week for 10 min, to kill dust mites.  

 Basically its a 3 pronged approach

1. Boost the Immune system by giving it what it needs, vitamins, gut health, and sleep [strict sleep schedule and exercise]
2. Exposure therapy in a calm setting. [Go outside in the golden evening hour]
3. Cleanroom approach to my bedroom. [not the rest of my life. Just here]