Changing our Family Culture

 I want to change our family culture closer to our original vision, of making Rivendell.

Family culture matters, routines and prayers matter. To put a rhythm to our lives, that can give something to fill up the kids hearts, to show them what is important. Habit shapes souls, because it is a continual time-offering of our lives, and our souls exist in time.

 Josh has already drastically changed our family culture the last year, by taking on the McCheyne Bible reading plan every evening as a family. And sticking to it, even when we come home 9:30 pm exhausted from a social event. He is stubborn, in the best way possible.

Josh has also changed our family culture the last few years, with the whole concept of "Family Fun Time" and the creation of the "Family Fun Time Wheel". He urges the kids to finish their after-dinner chores in time, that we take an hour to do something fun as a family. There's a wheel he had me make, with 6 different options to choose from, so that even when we are brain-dead at the end of the day, the options are clearly laid out for us.

[Image of the family fun time wheel]

We also got a little closer to our dream, last year, with our 4 weekend camping trips and 2 water wheel hikes. With the Family Fun Time the kids look forward too every evening, and the nightly Bible time with prayertime, as the girls dance to "He is Lord" at the end, there is a rhythm to our lives.

Five things I want my kids to have interwoven throughout their lives.

Prayer [The God who is here]

Joy [Singing, always singing]

Adventure [camping trips, attitude toward life, challenges unlocked etc]

Love [Kind, gentle to one another, forgiving one another]

The Holy [to see Him, to really see Him. The pillar of fire and cloud, come down to us]

Reshaping family culture through Lent

 Recently I've reflected on how little my daily expense of time reflects my actual ideals. 

I want to live like God is real.

I want to create Rivendell---a place of joy and peace.

I want to show my children, by how I live my daily life, what I truly think is important and life-giving.

Through daily tangible choices, I can change our family culture.

The point is to change our daily routine to where it actually shapes us. Because our daily time-slots do shape our souls, since our souls are being formed in real time. 

"Mental patterns" and all that, as psychologists talk about.

So I want to give the kids a life centered around the rhythm of joy and worship. Josh has already changed our family culture so much, with the evening Bible Readings added into family prayer. 

Now its my turn, to do my part when he's gone at work, to make our home more filled with God's presence. I want my kids to be like the Israelites, growing up with the Pillar of Cloud and Fire.

Another issue is how we treat eachother. There is too much fighting, too much negative talk and gossip and fussing. The change starts with me. I must get right with God in the mornings, and also, reset the family culture of how we treat eachother. Kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

For Lent 2026 I have changed my plans. 

Family disciplines

1. Family Prayer & Worship
1. Morning Prayer in the Babygarden every morning
2. the 5,7,7 QT in the mornings, five minutes listening to Bible, 7 minutes journaling/quiet praying, 7 minutes praying out loud, Korean-style.
3. Worship songs [Let the kids pick the songs with the lyric videos] at the end of school.
2. No whining, fussing, gossiping, fighting at all. [take it to Jesus] [-5 min gametime per infraction]
3. No sweet treats at all. [Fruit is ok]. UNLESS guests are over, or its a feast day [Birthday, or Sunday]
4. We will eat our way through our split peas, beans, and freezer. [goal empty the freezer]

Personal Disciplines

For me, I've changed my plans. I need a hard reset on how I cope with daily life, and my mid-life crisis.

1. Give up writing my Star Wars story. I think I am turning to it too much, as an escape or another world in dealing with my mid-life crisis.
• Instead fill those gaps of time with doing things with the kids. At the end of Lent I want to have done something significant with each child.
• Teach Isaiah how to draw
• Teach Isaiah how to recite poetry
• Teach kids (esp sarah) how to play the recorder
• Garden with the kids
• Teach the girls how to sew
• Paint iwth the kids, perhaps help them 
• ??Finally illustrate the woodcutter and the wolf-king
2. Give up personal Youtube browsing in the evenings
• [except 15 min max per day with a timer, for topics to research for home-improvement research for classes etc]
• Never change the 7 min internet timer on my phone.
• Instead fill gaps of time with reading books, praying. Read the Ignatius Examen, watch things on Formed, read various religious books I've bought over the years and haven't read. 

My general usage of time should be

1. Morning Prayer
2. Breakfast,
3. Devotions
4. School with big kids
5. When Big Kids do busywork, then go and cuddle little ones, Hide 'em in your heart playing. Go back to help big kids as needed.
6. Lunch
7. Worship God
8. Freetime---[This is where I will try to do those things with the kids]
9. House projects
10. Dinner
11. Cleanup
12. Family Fun Time
13. Evening Bible and Prayers
14. Time to talk with Isaiah, Josh, or read, or pray.