On the eve of my 37th birthday, I'm thinking about this.
Hopefully, a little early.
[[I hope to be able to pull off my current fashion sense of DunedainMom/Ranger-woman, and feminine/pretty/dirndl/medieval for another decade, or decade and a half. I hope. Really hoping my body doesn't hit menopause till 54, like my mommy, despite having lost my uterus. Alas. Imma get it back on the day of Resurrection. I asked Jesus to find it, and give it back to me. I know I won't be using it in the New Heavens and the New Earth...but it was part of me my whole life, and I want it back, in whatever glorified state it was. If medieval paintings have the various body parts of hapless sailors being coughed up by sea-monsteres, and coming back together again, to stand at the last judgment----it stands to reason I get my uterus back from whatever biohazard dump it was lost in.]]
When we age we are still beautiful. But the beauty changes. Not in the attractive/possibility-of-bearing-life/sexual being sort of way. But still beautiful--but transmuted.
No longer-----a princess, ready for her adventure story--full of possibility, desire, and potential, an unlined face, fresh with newness. Facing a life. Springtime.
But instead----a queen-----who has lived, seen, suffered, and is still doing her part to uphold good in the world. The Autumn of her life, facing the Winter, awaiting the eternal Spring that will come.
Shift from-----unstained beauty. Possibility. Potential. Future. Alluring. Begetting. Flowering
Shift to--->weathered beauty. History. A face lined with testament of the light of a thousand worlds, in struggles fought, lost or won. Standing. Still standing. Doing her part, standing at the pass. And awaiting the final ending of the world.
"Ideals to Strive For" e.g. "Fashion Icons"
- Tangle, the girl in the Golden Key, at the end, when she is waiting for the boy Mossy at the gate at the end, and has long silver hair and a face covered in wrinkles, waiting by the door, in hope.
- Kanaan's Jedi mentor Depa Billaba from Greg Weisman's comic. If she had gotten to be as old as the Jedi Librarian [name]. How I imagine she would have been. Sitting up tall, silver hair, flowing robes, stately. Kind to children.
- Irene's grandma in the Princess and the Goblin. [although this is slightly cheating since she didn't have wrinkles, just fabulous silver hair and immortality...] OK, so Irene's grandma IF SHE had been more mortal.
- Old medieval queen, who has been though a lot. [wars, grief, etc], standing tall, waiting in hope for the return of the Hero, bringing back her lost husband and sons. St Margaret in her old age.
- Old Ma Ingalls.
- Old Ranger in Arnor, who knows the paths, tracking a trail, listening for signals, knows the coming of the dawn---but the female version. Going to have to find a story with this---or write one myself---or flesh it out in reality.
- Candy Grandma at church. White haired old woman wheel-chair-bound, handing out gummi worms to all the children. Always smiling, emanating joy. Very cheerful. She put evangelistic bumper stickers on the back of her wheelchair. She always seems to be overflowing with joy. Kids line up and she gives them 2 gummi worms each. I've seen her give them to awkward but still sugar-desiring teenagers. She doesn't make anyone feel guilty, or sorry for her. Radiantly smiling. Overflowing with kindness and happiness, and love for the little mercenary young ones seeing her as a sugar-dispenser. She just loves everyone. After you leave her presence you remember a smiling face with bright eyes and curly white hair.
- Mother Teresa. She was so beautiful. Bright eyes in a dear wrinkled face. Smiling in joy at the children, she refracted their beauty to what we could see---like a crystal splitting the light to many colors.
Try to be beautiful as long as possible, wear my hair down, as it things, probably armpit/shoulder-length, curled/permed, and pin it on the sides for side-volume. Or just in the elven-style. Then when I have enough wrinkles I want to go grey/silver, and wear my hair long, in two long silvery braids. If my hair gets too thin for this, I shall have to keep it armpit/shoulderlength in a half-up.
Stand and sit up like a queen. Straight as I can. Work out as much as I can, to keep posture, and my ability to be strong as I can, to walk.
Wear classically beautiful sillhouette, still feminine, but stately. Womanly, old, queenly.
Long Fit-flared dresses, now with high mandarin collars. If the dress has a scoop neck, wear a white-mandarin collar beneath it. Still wear Dirndls with white blouses, my grey-white hair wrapped in a crown braid. Prairie school-marm fit and flared dresses. Something Ma Ingalls would have worn. And medieval gothic fitted dresses, with a white under-blouse, or a high neck.
Wear make-up, not overdone. Eyebrows are a must on me. Probably blush will be too, as I age.
And always smile. Encourage the young people, that life is worth it. That despite all the disappointments and pain in life, it is worth it.
There is Joy on the other side.
And we will get through the night, and make it through to the Other Side.
