Is marriage about rights----love me/be
faithful to me/have a godly home/provide for me, or is it more like a
binding oath to a kind of “war buddy”, that lasts as long as you
are alive, to help the other person be sanctified, become more like
Christ, enter the new Jerusalem---no matter what happens?
We get married expecting it means
children, buying a home, retiring together, studying Bible together,
reading stories together, going on family camping trips, kissing etc,
and being old people going on daily walks together with an umbrella.
I know that is what I expected.
But there are lots of wonderful people
I know/know of, whose lives didn't turn out that way.
Because there are lots of other things we
don't expect. We don't expect our smart, emotionally supportive,
fun-to-talk-to husband to go through a brain trauma that renders him
a needy child. Or a freak accident to a 27 yr old man at work that
renders the marriage a chaste one for the next 40 years. Or to be
young, and suddenly, widowed and alone, raising kids without their father.
God knew on our wedding day what we
were signing up for. We did not. We can't know. But He knew all
along. He knew from the first date. And He holds us. “I will also
hold you by the hand and watch over you” (Isaiah 42:16)
We don't get married expecting to have
to turn our husband/wife into the law, and visit him in jail the rest
of our lives. Or visit him on death row. Or every day raising the
kids alone, and each day, faithfully praying for someone who has
abandoned you for another(s).
But is that what is being asked of us?
To not stand on our rights, but to carry the cross?
Parenting, what are we signing up for?
If your kid did the unspeakable things, would you still love them?
Would you cut ties and find another kid? Or would you visit them on
death row, praying for them every day?
What is being asked of us?
I think that is at the crux of what so
much of this argument about marriage comes down to. What do we see it
as? What is it?
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