Combatting Insomnia Round 2---breathing allergies cured by sardines [macrocytic anemia]---- Now onto glucose management!

I wrote about this earlier in my troubleshooting breathing issues with inflamed sinuses, and  combatting insomnia round 1

Breathing Issues Neutralized or Solved?

The breathing issues are gone---none whatsoever. Which may be why I'm getting a solid 6 hours now, instead of 3-4 hour chunks. [I used to wake up and then need to sneeze 3x and drink a hot cup of tea to calm down my sinuses to lie down again]

1.  Dust Free Sleep environment. Deep Cleaning my room!
1. I got all the exposed fabrics out of the room, clothes only in the closet or in a dresser. 
2. Washed curtains once a month. 
3. Washed my sheets every 7 days. BUT washed my pillowcases every 3 days. I picked up a bunch of 100% cotton pillowcases at the thrift store, and now throw pillowcases in with the other laundry constantly, to have a steady stream of clean pillowcases.
4. I washed my blankets & quilts and ran them through the dryer ever 2 weeks
5.  Mopped the hard surfaces
6. Was vigilant about not letting kids climb over my bed as a couch during the day. They track in pollens etc. Was vigilant about not sitting on my bed as a couch during the day as well.
7. Also, maybe the summer pollen count not being as bad as the fall/spring...
8. Ironically...getting more sleep. This is recursive. Interesting how my twin says her breathing issues get worse on sleep deprivation. That poor sleep actually increases allergies. [a destructive positive feedback loop here]
9. Air filter running (but I had this all along. I think with a dusty room it didn't help)
2. Fish Fix Also my twin got diagnosed with macrocytic (sp?) anemia, which is an anemia caused by some people with this gene needing stuff in sea-weed and sardines and daenjang....so Korean blood needs Korean food, I suppose. As my Korean mom always said "If I don't eat Korean food for 2 weeks, I get sick". So more sardines, more kimchi, more Miyeok Guk AND---macrocytic anemia causes worse respiratory symptoms, and exacerbates respiratory allergies. When my twin (with horrible dust-mite allergies) at a strictly Korean diet, all of her allergic symptoms went away.

Getting 6 hours, and able to fall back asleep afterwards, but struggling with tiredness....Glucose?

 I am now getting 6 hours a night, zero breathing issues. I don't even wake up sneezing, like I used to for months.

So now, when I wake up after 6 hours, I sometimes doze back for small trippy dream chunks. (Which I didn't used to be able to do). So that's a plus. BUT.....I will crawl out of bed, 8 hours after I went in, very tired still, despite being in bed 8 hours and having (I think) a solid 6 hours.

I will often mispell words (for me, a sign of sleep deprivation). Lately I have been spelling things like "King Arther" and "whent to the store". This is a sign I've had for 10 years, that I'm not sleeping well. But right now, its when I appear to be sleeping, but still wake up tired and can't spell.

I have trouble remembering, and generally feel overall crappy & tired.

From my research, excessive cortisol makes it hard to sleep long. AND having too much glucose in your blood at night also messes with sleep.

Glucose is my old enemy. I remember when I was taking my blood-sugars for my pregnancy with Irene, whenever I woke up so tired, waking blood sugar was over 85. When I woke up feeling extremely tire, more tired than when I went to bed, it was 95-100.

When I woke up feeling ok, it was usually in the 80-85 range. When I woke up feeling awesome, my waking blood sugar was 75. 

So sleeping with highish blood sugar (note, still within range for doctors saying its ok) but I could literally FEEL the difference between a waking blood sugar of 80 and a blood sugar of 95.

Back when I was battling gestational diabetes, I would eat nothing carb-y at dinner (I still ate green beans etc, with my lentil curry, so some carbs---but no grains, no wheat, no pasta, etc), and I would sleep better. Also, I had to eat early dinners, and no snacks afterwards---not even cheese or vegetables. I suppose this was a 'time restricted feeding' sorta thing, though I didn't realize it. I just knew that not eating for a good stretch before trying to go to sleep helped me wake up rested.

Breathing issues solved. Next up: Blood Sugar

1. Keep evening glucose LOW
1. Build muscle mass to help with glucose management----Lift 2x/week. GOAL: Gain 7 lb of muscle by Christmas 
2. Early (5/5:30pm) Low-Carb/Keto-ish Dinners? [make sure you eat more food earlier] 
3. ?Running machine to soak up glucose---but it must be a good bit before bed, so as not to spike your cortisol before sleep----you are all done by 7pm [so like 1 mile, resistance 5-10, right after dinner]
2. LIGHT and Circadian Rhythms
1. SUNLIGHT---20 min walk in the morning, in the early morning sunlight together. 6am
2. Make sure all the blue light filters are on on the computers
3. Meditate/give our worries to God/Pray together before bed by candlelight.
4. Find and set aside a Josh-Hannah talking time. And make it illegal for Hannah to talk after 10pm??? [then must go to our room by 9:30pm]
3. CLEAN AIR---Keep bedroom clean 
4. Fish Fish---eat Meukguk every Wednesday, Kimchi, Daenjang, and Sardines a few times a week to cure Macrocytic Anemia, and help with the Respiratory system.

To know God....

This morning I awoke early, was thinking, half asleep. Had a dream in which I wanted a baby so badly, I was afraid I would steal my sisters' new baby.

I thought about life. About how lately I've been empty inside, struggling with something. Tup tup pe, is how the Koreans call it. All the emotions jammed up inside, you're not even sure what's in there.

Computer games have these images in them. No wonder people play them. That makes me feel like I can almost feel the thing I am missing but forgot what it was, till I forget the feeling of missing it. And then a cool trailer, a sunrise to music and a purpose....then For one second, suddenly realizing that I am not alive, but used to be....Why does it take stories to make me feel this way? Epic trailers with epic music, and epic tragedies or triumphs...I start to feel like I can feel again for a moment....but why do I not see it in my real life all around  me? Why is it this pixelated image from a virtual world, not the sunsets I see with my own eyes? Why this numbness only stories can cut through? 

I've been struggling with a sense of missing something. Perhaps mid-life crisis. Perhaps a missing uterus. Perhaps missing my two little boys. And knowing a chapter of my life is over.

I've been missing that something a lot. 

Sometimes it felt like I was missing feelings. Or feeling alive. Like I was watching my own life distantly, through glass. Not really feeling. Not really seeing. The little ones are growing up all around me, I'm surrounded by life....and yet somehow I've felt so checked out this last year. As if I'm not really living my own life. It is my own fault too. I have avoided doing real things, interacting with my real children, to spend many hours on the internet, browsing youtube. Or immersed in my own fiction,  writing a star wars story. Why is it like I am chasing filling, or feelings, in an alternate world. Or really, inside my own head. Hours talking to my own brain. 

Am I processing life? Or escaping it, in concentrically smaller circles of insanity?

I know I process when I write. I partly write to think. But I know I also write looking for something. Is this the definition of insanity? Endlessly talking to my own self, for hours and hours of my life...when there are other humans all around me, who would love my attention? Often they are in their own little worlds and stories, interacting with eachother. But they would want me to be with them. They often ask for it.

How long have I been stuck in my own head? Searching for something, feeling empty, like I had swallowed so much air my throat hurt.

And it made sense, somehow, half asleep in the dawn light, that I was trying to fill the God-shaped emptiness inside of myself, with other things. Cramming in other shaped things. It didn't fit. 

I need to focus on reaching outside of myself....to the Creator who made me. Get out of these concentric circles in my own mind. And look at Him.

Perhaps that is what worship means.

To just look at Him. And see Him. Really see Him.

*****************************************8

Practical steps:

1. Actually go outside at 6 when I wake up, and pray at the prayergarden where my little boys are buried. And pray. And see what He says.....Ask Him who He is. I can show up. And see what He does.
2. Read the Bible. In as many different translations as I can. This year, perhaps NASB. Next year, KJV. The year after that ESV. Mix it up with reading it and listening to it. Somehow different hings jump out at me then.
3. Do devotion time with the kids. 5-5-5
1. Five minutes of listening to NKJV dramatized audioBible on youtube
2. Five minutes of silent journaling, silent prayer
3. Five minutes of Korean Style Prayer [Everyone outloud and praying]

Protein for Breakfast: Adventures in Ninja Blender Egg Puddings

The key to delicious blender egg-puddings is 

1. the eggs MUST be soft-boiled [whites cooked, yolks a bit runny in the centers]

2. you must refrigerate it for 6 hours to get rid of the sulfur taste, and to thicken it up.

Courtesy of this excellent high-protein recipe blog, she also has really cool birth stories.

 Josh has a very narrow list of things he will eat for breakfast. Even more narrow of a list than what he will eat for the rest of his life.

He sadly gave up breakfast cereal when I presented him with the scientific evidence it hastens the onset of diabetes, and may have contributed to insulin resistence-->diabetes-->obesity epidemic of the west. Because slamming your empty stomach with 45gr of carbs, and only 4 grams of protein and 4 grams of fat, will yield a glucose spike. As surely as sparks fly upward. Alas, farewell, ye fad of breakfast cereal.

But Josh just can't get behind the ancient traditions of Asian soup, meat, and vegetable breakfast. Sweet breakfasts remain dear to his heart.

GOAL: Get 30g of protein into him at breakfast, with no more than 30g of carbohydrate. And lots of animal based fats.

Sweet Breakfasts with Balanced Macros  

(Balanced Macros = about equal numbers each of grams of protein and fat and carbs) This recipe has about 24-28g protein [depending on the size of your eggs], 24 g carb, 50-68ish grams fat depending on the heaviness of your cream. If this has too many calories, or if you have a sensitivity to one of the preservatives sometimes used in heavy cream [check the box, 0000 in my case, alas], then use sour cream. 

For few calories, use sour cream OR half-n-half in place of the cream.

Sour cream only only 20g of fat instead of 40-48g of fat like the heavy cream, adds 4g of carbs, and 4g of protein. Making the macros for the pudding 28-32g protein, 28g carb, 40g fat]

Note: if you want the texture thicker, use a little less cream. If you want it thinner, use 1/4 c. each water and cream [instead of 1/2 c. cream]

• Chocolate Egg Pudding (Ninja Blender)
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 2 T. cocoa powder
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• 2 t. vanilla extract
• 2 T. sugar
•  1/2 c. heavy cream
• Vanilla Egg Pudding (Ninja blender)
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• 2 t. vanilla extract
• 2 T. sugar
• scant 1/2 c. heavy cream
• Reeses Pieces Peanut Butter pudding [FAVORITE]
• This tastes like the soul of Reeses Pieces!!!
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 4 soft boiled [just not quite hard boiled] eggs  
• [2 t. vanilla extract]
• 2 T. sugar
• 1 T. cocoa
• 2-3 T. PB fit peanutbutter powder// OR natural peanutbutter?
• 1 scoop whey protein
• ? 1/2 c. heavy cream

• Lemon Egg Pudding
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• 2 T. sugar
• 1/2 t. lemon extract [1 t. tastes fake. Josh likes it though]
• 1 T. lemon juice
• scant 1/2 c. heavy cream
• 
  

• Dark Chocolate Egg Pudding the only one that really masks slightly overcooked* hardcooked eggs. (*Slightly overcooked = Tinged green yolks, not full grey-green yolks. Full grey green just chug down and drink water afterwards)
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 3 T. cocoa powder [2 T. normal cocoa, 1 T. black cocoa]
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• 2 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 t. almond extract
• 2 T. sugar
•  1/2 c. heavy cream

•  Coffee pudding
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 1-2 t. instant coffee [decaf or real, depending on the time of day]
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• [1/2 t. vanilla extract optional]
• 1 1/2 T. sugar
• 1/2 c. heavy cream
• [untested] Hannah's Cheesecake pudding
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 3 soft boiled eggs
• 1 T. gelatin in 1/4 c. water
• 2 T. sugar
• 1 t. almond extract
• 1 t. vanilla extract 
• 1 t. lemon juice
• 1/4 c. heavy cream  [OR 2/3 c. sour cream?]
• 2 scoops cream cheese [1/2 c.?]
• Serve with a dollop of Sweet Cream [recipe] and a graham cracker
•  SWEET CREAM RECIPE
• 1.5 lb tub of sour cream
• 1/4 c. sugar
• 2 t. almond extract [or 1 t. each vanilla, and almond extract]

• [untested] Reeses Peanut Butter Cup pudding 
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 4 soft boiled [just not quite hard boiled] eggs  
• 2 t. vanilla extract
• 2 T. sugar
• 2 T. cocoa
• 1/2 c. heavy cream
• [untested] Mocha pudding
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 2 T. cocoa powder
• 1 T. instant coffee [decaf or real, depending on the time of day]
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• 2 t. vanilla extract
• 2 T. sugar
•  1/2 c. heavy cream
• [not perfected] Matcha pudding 
• Somehow is just meh. I think the egg+matcha combination somehow doesn't work as well as I thought it would. Maybe try this with gelatin to replace some of the eggs?
• NOTES: You *must* not overcook the eggs. You must make it the night before, and refrigerate overnight. This mitigates the sulfur taste to negligible.
• 2 t. matcha mixed into...
• 1/4 c. water in tiny increments
• 4 soft boiled eggs [whites cooked, yolk still a little wet in the middle, 'smush boiled']
• 2 T. sugar
•  1/4 c. heavy cream

Variations: 

1. For health, try to cut the sugar to 1.5 T, or even 1 T.
2. For health, replace the 1/2 c. heavy cream with 1/4 c. heavy cream and 1/4 c. water with 1 T. gelatin dissolved into it.
3. Try this with whey protein mixed in, to up the protein content.

Savory Breakfasts

• Breakfast Sandwiches (Egg & Cheese, Sausage, English Muffin) here
• The best part about this one is I can make a batch of 10, and wrap and freeze in a gallon ziploc for reheating.
• Melted butter brushed on, broil toast, the English Muffins
• Egg and cheese casserole, baked 2" thick, cut into circles
• Sausage patties---make them myself, to be big enough
• 3 Fried Eggs & Hash Browns/Butter fried Toast
• Fry the hash browns in beef fat. Fry the eggs in butter.

Getting outside in the Desert Dawn: Surviving Summers in Phoenix Arizona while raising little Rangers

Little Rangers need to go a'ranging...

But in the desert that means being a Dawn Ranger. Waking to stars and chasing the twilights.

Phoenix in the summer is unbearable. Unless you chase the twilights. Live in the dawn and the dusks. Hide from the sun from 8am to 6pm. This handy reference helps, showing dawn times in the year.

HO WE WE ARE GOING TO DO IT:

1. Adventures from 5am to 8am....it starts to look beautiful 20 min after nautical twilight (40 min before sunrise) so  from 4:40 when sunrise is technically 5:20. 
2. Kids must learn to speak in whispers and travel quietly like real rangers when around Birdwatchers and Fishermen.
3. Load up to go home by 8am,  
4. Siesta/Quiet Book Time at 11-2pm
5. Got the America the Beautiful Pass. So we need to use it at least 12 times to make it retroactively worth it.
6. If staying outside after 8am---Hats, sunscreen, water-bottles 

Dawn Adventures---Weekday

• Granite Reef Recreation area, wild horses at dawn. Go on a weekday, once a week. 
• ?Pebble Beach
• ?Hidden Valley/Fat Man's pass/South Mouuntain? [no water, just desert. Only right at dawn]
• ?Sears-Kay Ruin (Hohokam)
• Check out more on Alltrails....

Day Trips with Daddy. [Early Saturday mornings]

• Water Wheel Falls Park. Aim to be there from 6-10. [starts filling up at 9] So need to get up at 4am and start driving. Then come home at 9:30/10 when its getting really hot and crowded, and the UV index soars. Come home, eat, and have a siesta
• ?Canyon Lake @ 5am [ 1 hr away. Acacia Recreation Site]
• ?Lake Saguaro @ 5am [42 min away]
• ?Granite Reef @ 5am [fishers?  23 min, L202 at dawn]

Evenings in the Twilights

6-8pm you can go outside, if you are wet.... The sun is down, but it has exhausted itself in pumping its heat into the earth. Here we are constrained by Daddy having a day job. So either we frolic off without him, or we drag an exhausted man out into the heat for adventures after a long day at work.... 

-I think maybe the best option here is enjoy dusk together as a family, in the backyard, in some sort of water games. And save the family adventures with Daddy, on weekend camping trips. 

Weekend Camping Trips ---once a month

June

• last chance at Mingus---EARLY june, Prescott, 
• Payson--Christopher Creek
• Payson-ish Houston Mesa Campground NEAR Water Wheel Falls (Payson) NEAR Flowing Springs
• Maybe Sedona & Oak Creek Canyon Too Hot

July--Mountains or Creeks, 

• CHRISTOPHER CREEK IN PAYSON 
• Payson-ish Houston Mesa Campground NEAR Water Wheel Falls (Payson) NEAR Flowing Springs
• Maybe Oak Creek Canyon/Sedona [bc of Oak creek. Also Manzanita is COOLER they say, Pine Flats, Bootlegger, Cave Spring], 
• Maybe Mogollon Campground is 2mi from a lake....  Too Hot
• OR THE ROCKIES

Aug--Mountains or Creeks, PAYSON,OR THE ROCKIES Oak Creek Canyon/Sedona... Too Hot

CHRISTOPHER CREEK IN PAYSON 

Payson-ish Houston Mesa Campground NEAR Water Wheel Falls (Payson) NEAR Flowing Springs

Sept--Mountains or Creeks, PAYSON, OR Oak Creek Canyon/Sedona [Finally Cool Enough!...]

• CHRISTOPHER CREEK IN PAYSON 
• Payson-ish Houston Mesa Campground NEAR Water Wheel Falls (Payson) NEAR Flowing Springs

Oct -- AZ Rim-country, Prescott, Mingus [may-oct] OR Oak Creek Canyon/Sedona...

• Last chance for Mingus !!!!

For reference, for the rest of the year

Nov--AZ Desert 

• AZ desert dawn hikes,  
• Hidden Valley, 
• Fat Man's pass
• Sears-Kay Ruin (Hohok am)
• Check out Alltrails
• ??Montezuma's well [3 hr drive]
• Pioneer Museum? 
• Lost Dutchman campsite

Dec & Jan--AZ Desert dawn hikes [Hidden Valley, Pioneer Museum? Fat Man's pass, Sears-Kay Ruin (Hohokam)] Have back-yard fires and toast marshmallows.

Feb --AZ Desert dawn hikes, Lost Dutchman campsite. 

March--AZ Desert dawn hikes, Lost Dutchman campsite...or THE MINE

[I need to reserve the Spring reservations by Nov/Dec, and Summer reservations by Feb/March]

April -- AZ Rim-country/Sedona Oak Creek--- AZ desert Dawn Hikes 

• [too hot to camp in AZ desert]
• [Mingus Mountain and Mogollan Campground and Aspen AZ not open till May], 
• THE MINE Morenci, AZ
• Yavapai, White Spar (Prescott) is open [but terrible bathrooms] not alot of trees
• Sedona/Oak Creek stuff is Open
• Maybe....Payson IS ALL FF IN APRIL [Christopher Creek] and Ponderosea (AZ)
•  Houston Mesa [Payson near Water Wheel, Flowing Springs] are FF in April 

May -- AZ Rim-country, Prescott, ----Sedona/Oak Creek stuff is Open  (Payson is open)

• Mingus Mountain! 
• Mogollon Campground on Rim ??
• ASPEN AZ ??
• Ponderosa AZ ??
• Sedona/Oak Creek stuff is Open(Pine Flatts) [We had a great time at Cave Spring Sedona in May]
• Christopher creek, 
• Houston Mesa Campground NEAR Water Wheel Falls (Payson)  Time for this the next 3 months

And how to homestead...when we are in a little quarter-acre lot in a desert, and may move in the near-ish future?

Homestead, but not as the homestead being the goal---as we may need to sell, and later owners destroy it. Plant fruit trees, for the future if owners keep it. And always garden with the kids. Involve my little rangers as much as possible...because its about the memories being forged WITH them, and the skills being forged IN them, and not about the physical garden or home so much. We are traveling, but we can make these way-stations along the way as beautiful as we can. As green as we can. As productive as we can. 

But it should always be about the little Rangers, and not the way-station.