The Foundations of Female Attraction

 I wrote this for my teenage son, who is now very curious how to impress girls. Right now it mostly seems to involve fantasies of building massive muscles and strategically losing your shirt so she'll notice. 

So I felt the need to clue him in on what actually impresses the female half of the population. I put this up here in case it is useful for anyone else clueless how to impress a woman.

Foundations of Female Attraction

 LEVEL 1: Faith in Something greater than himself. Having Convictions, Principles and the Courage to act on those convictions----The girl is picking her LEADER. If he doesn’t know where he’s going or what he’s doing, or what he believes in---she’s not going to want to follow. It would be like you signing up for an army you have no idea for what country or what rules they follow or what religion.

2.       LEVEL 2: Mental Discipline. You must master yourself. A girl wants to know you have mastered your emotions and your anger. So that you are in charge, not your emotions. That she is obeying you, not your whims. Also that you work hard, can push yourself to do hard things. She wants to know you have mastered yourself, so she knows she she can trust you with herself and your future kids. 

3.       LEVEL 3: Kind to the weak. Having strength, but not being a bully, but a protector of the helpless. This is huge. How a man treats those who cannot reward him. Not in how he treats the boss, but the old penniless lady. Small children. Protects the weak and does not prey on them. Unselfish. Fearing God. Knowing that strength was given to him, as a trust. With great power comes great responsibility. In attractiveness: Spiderman > thug.

4.      LEVEL 4: Comportment & Posture. How you carry yourself in relation to the world. Slouching aristocrat or an alert soldier? This is self defence 101. Who do thugs choose to jump in parking lots?[link here] For most people, it is subconscious. People will decide what you are, who you are. It's how you know someone is ex-military. It's one of the factors when girls swoon for men after they go through bootcamp. Often their physique actually hasn't changed that much---but their comportment has. Soldiers hold themselves like they know what they are doing---like they are men. With a purpose. And know that they are a force to be reckoned with. Criminals aren't the only ones who notice your posture.

5.      LEVEL 5: Hygiene. Be considerate of not grossing people out. Girls are even  more grossed out than boys. They have been guardians of the home for millennia and lost children to disease. FIGHT NURGLE. Wash your hands, don’t pick your nose. Don’t make weird scraping sounds with phlegm in your throat like you’re dying of whooping cough. Blow your nose with proper form, and wash hands afterwards. Smell NOT-BAD. (really, Axe, stinks. It's a triumph of modern marketing that young men still think it works)

a.       Breath---xylitol after meals. Brush teeth, floss, ACT

b.       Underarm, vinegar, deodorant. Change clothes every day

c.      !!!! If you work out or labor or sweat---shower. Rancid sweat smell is like a dead animal. (usually only gets to that point several days in, I think based on my memories of my little brother)

d.       Scalp Care [Scalp wash routine, Vinegar rinse, keep dandruff away]

6.       LEVEL 6: Physique. Having muscles, looking strong enough to protect her and your future kids, is a definite plus. Having good posture (level 4) really helps maximize this. That is, a skinnier man who stands with good posture looks better than a slouching muscular guy. Girls in general aren't as impressed by strength just existing, as strength with purpose. Important note! While having a good physique is a plus, a man who is constantly taking selfies of his abs is a major turn-off for a lot of women. A girl wants you to want to look at her, not the mirror! Narcissus and Echo did not go well.

7.       LEVEL 7: Style. Hairstyle--- keep it relatively short (obviously male) and out of your eyes. Hair Gel can help. Clothing---Pick clothing that flatters you, AND sends the message you want. [e.g. medieval, loves certain movie, etc]

        Girls aren't irrational after all. These foundations of attraction really all boil down to---will he be man enough to protect me and our children, and man enough to love me and our children even when its hard.

She's signing up to follow you, after all. It's like signing up for the marines, but for your whole life, and to follow a specific sergeant till you die. You want to make sure that commander is up to snuff before you swear on.

And coming back to "Level 1" and why it is the foundation of everything else. She needs to know this sergeant is following the same General. 

And even when storms come, and when you fail, she needs to know that you will and man enough to repent, and turn to follow your God even through suffering.

Sunscreen Woes: Protecting my little Melanin-challenged Children from the Sun

White people are really fragile mutants from the far poles. Now that they have ventured from their dim polar homelands into the rest of the world bombarded with solar energy, precautions must be taken. They do not have 'white' pigment. Their "whiteness" is simply the lack of melanin, or in our modern kind-speak they are 'melanin-challenged'. 

Their melanin-challenged skin is not able to properly shield their DNA from the blast of our star's cosmic rays.

Obedient hat-wearing child, yet unburnt            Hat-hurling child who burnt toasty pink     

I must protect my little white mutants from the Sun.

Even in chilly October, the UV got to 6/7. Normally we are inside 11-3, so I forget how real this is. Little Irene burned even with her hat on 50% if the time, and slathered in sunscreen. I trusted in my 11% mineral sunscreen, and like the reed of Egypt, it splintered in my hand.

It was a nice sunscreen, Banana Boat Mineral sport. It had a runnier texture, but was still a little greasy, from an older formulation. I think maybe two years old? Only 7 months expired. I have used sunscreens much more expired than that which worked. Alas, I think this particular tube had been left in the hot car at some point earlier. It smelled and felt perfectly fine. But despite slathering my protesting offspring in it, little Irene the hat-hurler's crisped all pink, and my face (we ran out of hats, I knew my duty as mother and went without) burned pink and it was painful when putting on my lotion the next day. 

Things learned/Rules for Sunscreening my mutants.

1. Even mineral sunscreen can get less efficacious if left in the hot car too long. The heat may mess with the suspension of the zinc & titanium dioxide particles, letting them clump up more, thus creating more of a 'net' than a shield. (like in home-made sunscreens having a fraction of the SPF of the commercially mixed ones), 
2. Only get 18% + zinc oxide sunscreens. I am disappointed with this 11% stuff that relies on its suspension so much. The more the better. Also, Zinc protects better in the UVA region than Titanium.
3. Use the FRESH, JUST-BOUGHT sunscreen for camping & hikes. THAT IS WHEN IT MATTERS MOST. If I have old stockpiled stuff, use that for day to day homeschool days when it is only needed for non-peak hours.
4. Runnier textured sunscreens (that Jenny loves) only buy fresh (never more than six-months supply) and store extras in a cool dark place. [NEVER leave them in the car, even once. If going to the pool, bring them along in your purse and keep in the shade]
5. Kids under 5 shed their hats at every opportunity...so slather on the sunscreen. And keep training them to wear their hats!

Hiking with Children: Strategies for Success

Tip #1

Bring Candy, but only dispense it during the hike. Or it will not work. It doesn't have to be candy, but it has to be special. [dried cranberries, cookies, strawberries] It needs to be a triumphant snack to ceremoniously eat at landmarks (Keep marshmallows for general camping, roasted over the fire. We promise 3-4 marshmellows per kid, that can be revoked one at a time for bad behavior, and reinstated for good behavior)

Food helps everything. Trailmix, little sandwiches. You don't need to go crazy, someone needs to carry this stuff. Probably the 14 yr old boy, who will not complain about having to lug along extra calories

(These teens moods would have greatly benefitted from snacks.)

Tip #2

Everyone over 6 carries their own water. Buddies carry water for littles. Need comfortable water carrying.

Tip #3

Hats are a must. In addition to preventing toasted children, and skin cancer, they keep the head from heat headaches as well.

Tip #4

Buddies stick together

Tip #5

If near a creek, hike in rubber sandals and socks. Wool socks if cold. Bring extra socks. Rubber sandals dry off pretty instantaneously (unlike soggy sneakers), and the socks can be changed out with dry ones. If its cold, have them wear 2 layers of socks. The top layer being adult wool-blend socks.

Tip #6

Mom carries extra socks, toilet paper, small shovel, and pee funnel for the girls. 

Tip #7

Sing while you hike! Especially on the return, the downslope. The little ones love to sing "the road goes ever on and on." It lifted up my heart as we trudged back, and Irene and Ruhi and Ana were leading me in a rendition of it.

Tip #8 stop at the places they find fun. Sometimes we need to pause our adult "must complete this hike" mode, and remember, the whole reason we are doing this. It's for them to experience wonder. So when they have those moments, stop. Whether that's a creek, a pile of pebbles, or a big rock. 

Camping List for Cold Weather

 Applicable to Payson in October[65-70/45-41night], or the Rocky Mountains in July. Sedona in May [75day/52night]. Note: Oct 16 in Christopher Creek is 61/41. Need fleece hats for the night!!

[Temperature ranges of 70s-60s in the day, to 50s-40s at night]

Prepare yourself for complaints that this was a terrible idea, from the local child population, early in the morning, and in the cold evening.

The best antidote is hot chocolate milk, a working propane camp-stove [or even better, a rocket stove] is a must-have.

And wool socks. Adult size is fine, stuck indiscriminately onto children, pulled up like medieval hosen. And hats. They all need something keeping their ears warm. And those puffy winter coats for the mornings, and the nights.

Cold Camping List [days 61-70, nights 41-46]

Chuck Bag (Personal care) Put each category into a labeled gallon ziploc bag inside of the chuck bag. It makes it very easy to quickly find things, when the call for bandaids or hair ties goes up.

• Flashlights/Lanterns. Headlamps best for setting up camping the dark.
• Sunscreen & aloe vera gel
• Toothbrushes, Toothpaste, Xylitol mints
• Hairbrush & hair ties & hair oil
• Babywipes and Hand Sanitizer
• Bandaids, Ointment
• Allergy Meds, emergency benadryl
• Bugspray [and anti-itch cream]
• Duct tape (if the zipper gives out on a tent, a lifesaver)
• LED string lights
• Bible, Books for Daddy to read to us during the downtime in the camp
• car cell phone charger

Clothing & Kit

• Hats,  Sunglasses
• Waterbottles on belts [carabiners]
• Puffy Coats 
• Polarfleece Jackets//hoodie
• ADULT WOOL SOCKS FOR EVERYONE

• Clothes
• long sleeve shirts/tunic/dress & short sleeve shirts x # of days
• leggings x # of days
• 2 x underwear x # of days
• 2 x socks  x # of days
• 2 pairs of sweatpants or fleece pants [like over-pants, a MUST for night-time]
• !! Fleece Jacket [wear over long sleeved cotton jammy shirt]
• If there's a creek, double the clothes for little kids
• !!!If it gets down to 50s at night, polar fleece jacket and polar fleece pants for all the littles, to wear over their jammies
• Fleece hats to sleep!! (Or hoods)
• Rubber sandals
• BOOTS or sneakers

Camp

• Sleeping Bags and Pillows 
• !!!! if night gets under 52, you NEED polarfleece lining, like a sleep sack, inside of the sleeping bag PER KID. Wrap the little ones in polarfleece coats and pants inside of their sleeping bags
• Mattress Pad for Josh, and his pillows and knee pillows
• Tarps
• Tents [make sure you pack the rain flys!]
• Shade Tent
• chairs
• 2 fold up poly picnic blankets (lying down looking at the stars)
• little broom & dustpan for breaking down camp
• 2 empty gallon jugs, 5 gallon jug
• Campstove & Propane
• Branch cutter* [if no fire restriction]
• !!Rocket stove* [if no fire restriction]

Chuck Box

• Garlic salt, pepper, salt, sugar, tea
• Foil
• Ladle
• Wood flat spoon
• Metal cups for hot cocoa
• Disposable table-cloths
• Paper plates and Paper towels 
• Trashbags
• Canopener
• Firestarter and matches
• Dutch oven [foil packets are a joke] for open fire OR pan for rocket-stove
• Pot for boiling water for tea
• Mugs for cocoa and cereal
• Forks, spoons, knives
• Cutting board
• dishpan
• Shears
• parachute cord/string

Food

Day 1—lunch 1130am just before we hit the road	Left-overs
Day 1 dinner	Hamburgers/Hotdogs, bell peppers, carrot sticks
Day 2  Breakfast	Milk & cereal, apples & cheese OR Cheesy Grits,
Day 2 Lunch	Cold cut sandwiches Cold sausages from last night. Boiled eggs bell peppers, carrot sticks
Day 2 Dinner	Sausages & Potatoes and cheese [pre-cooked potatoes in Tupperware]  [[Ramen noodles + eggs]]
Day 3 Breakfast	Apples and cheese

Grocery Shopping List

1. Cheese blocks x number of days
2. Butter or oil
3. Cooked Potatoes
4.  Onions, carrot, 
5. ketchup, mustard
6. Cereal & Milk & BOWLS/CUPS
7. !!!!cocoa
8. Tea & sugar
9. Buns
10. Bread!!
11. Cream cheese
12. Cereal
13. Marshamellows
14. Peanut Butter
15. Boiled eggs
16. Raw Eggs? [if outside temps cold enough]
17. Milk
18. Lunchmeat [freeze before]
19. !!Hot dogs & Sausages [freeze before]
20. Carrot sticks
21. Bell Peppers
22. Apples
23. Salt, Sugar,Garlic Powder
24. Ramen noodles
25. ?Grits
26. Peanuts & minimarshamellows & craisins [trailmix] OR Peanuts and cinnamon toast crunch cereal, makes a nice trailmix. Basically Peanuts + sweet thing. Half unsalted and half salted peanuts makes just the right amount of salt.
27. Savory trailmix---peanuts, pumpkin seeds (pepitas), savory chex, [garlic salt, parmesan]

Additional Tips

• First, make sure the van has enough gas! This loses 30/40 minutes "on the way" to get gas. [note: Mesa to Payson only takes 1/4 tank up. And Payson gas is cheaper]
• Group together things by type (e.g. first aid, teeth, skincare) in gallon zip lock bags inside the chuck bag. Kept all the essentials together for easy access

• Josh's very snug requirements
• 3 camping mats
• Egg crate 
• Mattress fragment
• 2 orange Coleman sleeping bags zipped together
• 2 low quality green Ozark trail sleeping bags unzipped used on top as blankets 
• Green fleece blanket
• Hat!
• H---for night clothing, loose large layers, better than tight layers!
• A night-cap [preferably a fleecy hat. Also can use a man's shirt as an improvised balaclava, face through the head-hole, arms tied around your head] It makes a world of difference.

Making Rivendell...I've lost my focus on my purpose

 Today I watched a few active toddlers while the adults did sunday school. I put on Steve Green's "Hide 'em in your heart" audiotape from my childhood [thanks, youtube!], as kids colored and played with Noah's ark animals and a smattering of cars.

There was this sense of joy and peace as they played.

I realized I have forgotten what I set out to do. I wanted to make Rivendell. 

It has to be Rivendell for the kids. More than white walls, wood, and cool lanterns--the trappings.

I was here for the heart.

The singing. The peace. The joy.

That's what I want. And I can cultivate it.

If I taught little kids classes

• Hebrew
• Bible Memory [Psalm 27 in full, Psalm 23 in full, Psalm 46 in full]
• Stories of the Heroes [St Patrick, Gladys Aylward, etc]
• Watercolor/Markers/Art lessons//Craft Time
• Outdoor play [tag, sharks and minnows, etc]
• ?Line Dancing [little boys doing the Virginia reel]
• Choreographed fighting [pool-noodle lightsaber]
• ???Worship Dance, with scarves

I daydreamed about if I had the reins of a preschool class. But I do. I did. Most of the class is out of preschool now. I've got 2 or 3 left, depending on how you count. 

Why not here? Why not the singing as we color. Why not that feeling of peace and joy as we learn about the world, and how to color leaves and rainbows? There is so much wonder and joy to be had. But most of all, that home being a place of spontaneous singing, security---a golden sort of peace. The heart.

Heroism, self-sacrificial charges, etc, is all well and good. But its not the heart. I need to give the kids that heart.

Also, I found my new style icon

[insert the fisherprice Noahs wife picture here] last week of August 

Its all there. The long grey braid. The industrious, helpful, generous basket. That simple and yet beautiful headband, a crown of womanhood. The bright eyes, the cheerful smile. 

That's who I want to be. 

Cinnamon Rolls Recipe

DOUGH

• 6 c. flour
• 1.5 t. salt
• 1 T. Sugar
• 2 c. milk
• 1 c. water
• 1 t. yeast

SPREAD

• 2 c. sugar
• 1/4 c. cinnamon
• 2 sticks [room temp] butter

Split the dough in half, do it half at a time. [3/4 stick of butter per roll. Set aside the the half stick of butter remaining to melt and brush the tops, so it doesn't just overflow]

Remember to let them rise to fill the jelly roll pan, one recipe makes 6x4 to fill a jelly roll pan.

Remember to brush that saved butter on, and sprinkle cinnamon sugar on top

375 for 20 min

Icing

• 1/2 lb powdered sugar
• 1 stick unsalted butter
• 1/4 t. salt
• splash milk

you need to use a dough scraper/metal flipper to get them out of the jelly roll pan.

Scissors, wax paper to give them out. AND AN ICING BAG to top them off.

She Ran to Him

She ran to him, knowing, what no one else knew

(Knowing he would carry her)

She ran to him, knowing, what she was too young to know

(too small to see, too new to know)

That he would hold her thumb, kiss it

 

She ran to him, with overweening arrogance, unconceivable presumptiousness

un-justified pride

Knowing he would comfort her

She ran to him, with wisdom beyond the Hokhmim

Knowing he would cuddle her

 

And so the child came crying

Demanding the kiss of God

And so the toddler came indignant

Ordering the arms of God

 

And so the kingdom cometh

For so does it come

And so the child enters

For she is too young, she knows 

I wrote this almost fifteen years ago. I found it on my old college days blog. Thought I would put it up. It is a riff on pondering what it means to "become a little child" to God.

"Unless ye receive the kingdom of God as a little child, ye shall not enter it."

I wrote this from experience with little siblings. Now from the last 14 years experience with my own 8 little children, I would say their defining characteristic is their demand for love. They know it, and they expect it.

All Dinner Meals for Meal-Planning

 Dinners List so I can have it all in one place. These shall become links when I actually write the recipes down.

Basic Principle is have a   Protein + Vegetable + Carb, so that I can keep my prediabetes in check, by controlling how much I eat of each. 

Hacks for making the Carbs less crashy---

1. Twice cooked carbs 
1. Instantpot precooked potatoes [8 min, 1 cup water] that get fried in butter/beef fat. 
2. Pre-cooked rice heated up again, or fried in a risotto or stir fry
2. Cauliflower risottos that are very very good. [shredded in the food processor, cooked in olive oil/butter, then add in butter/cream cheese/spices. It's actually even better than rice risotto IMHO]
3. Eating my curries & sauces over Green Beans instead of rice with EXTRA tomato chutney [fresh salsa]

Remember, salads can become cabbage salads, or be swapped out with hot cooked (from frozen) vegetables if you make it further from the grocery shopping date.

Chicken Breast

• Basil Lime Chicken Breast [Oven or Grill] + 
• "Factor Meal" Sour Cream Salsa Chicken Breasts + Cauliflower Risotto + Green Beans
• Fajita Chicken + Onions & Bell Peppers
• Tikka Masala Chicken + Green Beans + Fresh Salsa
• Orange Chicken [Gen Tso's Chicken]

      

  Chicken bone-in

          Bone in chicken [cheap in the 10 pound frozen bags]

• Chicken Enchilada casserole + Fresh Salsa + Salad + Sour Cream
• Crockpot Shredded Chicken Tacos with Black Beans and Cheese + Salad + Fresh Salsa
• BIR curry Chicken + Lentils + Fresh Salsa + Green Beans + Indian Cauliflower Risotto
• Bone Broth Chicken Soup
• Oven Roasted [or Grill] "Turkish" chicken + Stovetop Brocolli + Rice// Cauliflower Risotto
• ?Barbecue Chicken [frozen leg quarters, 5-7 hrs in barbecue sauce, slowcooker]
• ?Barbacoa Chicken OR Taco Chicken [frozen leg quarters, 5-7 hrs in barbecue sauce, slowcooker]

Beef 

• Marinated Stovetop Steaks [or Grilled Steaks] + Loaded Potatoes + Green Beans + Bell Peppers
• Hobbit Stew
• Meuk-Guk
• Russian Beef Soup
• Instant-Pot Pulled Beef [Barbacoa or Barbecue] [because of our sweet little Ana] + Bell Peppers + Dinner Rolls
• Philly Cheese steaks
• Mary Ann's Beef & Lentils
• Steak Fajitas w/ bell peppers and onions

Ground Beef 

• InstantPot Fauxsagnia
• Tacos + Fresh Salsa
• Smashburgers
• ?Sherri's White Bean Chili + Salad
• Grilled Burgers from Samsclub [when we have a gas grill...]

Lentils/Beans [so easy to mealprep]

• Favorite Indian Lentil Recipe + Raita + Fresh Salsa + [Pomegranates, and Dark Chocolate, and Tea]
• Whole Spices Indian Curry
• Nut Curry
• BIR green curry [get the right name]
• BIR Beef + Lentils, Vindaloo Curry
• Prep a big batch of refried beans and freeze for Taco Tuesdays
• Falafel & Hummus + Cilantro Raita + Fresh Tomatoes & Salad + Flatbread

Fish

• Canned Sardines/Mackerel with "Factor Meal" sauce [Sour Cream Fresh Salsa Sauce] and capers...so good
• Canned Sardines with Salsa Verde [tomatillos n onions] and Sour cream (do not overcook tomatillos)
• Tilapia Fillets + Butter-Fried precooked potatoes + Green Beans/Brocolli
• Tuna Fish sandwiches or chip-dip [made with Ninja blender-egg-may replacement], and chips

Cheese/Eggs 

• Instantpot Mac n Cheese + Peas +
• Fettecini Alfredo + [Meat Roast/Ham] + Cauliflower Mushroom Rissotto + Green Beans
• Grilled Cheese Sandwiches + Tomato Soup +
• Cheesy Taters [Ye Olde Standby] FANCY if its in the toaster oven
• Bibimbap + Korean Spinach + Kongnamul +

    Pork 

Only really if our sweet little Ana changes her mind....

• Barbecue Pulled Pork + Rolls + Green Beans [Make some barbecue chicken for Ana]
• Korean Style [Bulkogi style marinade] Pork + Rice + Kongnamul & Korean Spinach [make some 
• Sundry delicious looking Pork-Chop Recipes, yet untried

Once A month grocery plan

 For this to work, you need to have a very clean and organized freezer. No dead-space of freezer-burned bags of unrecognizable leftovers you are afraid to try to autopsy. No Turkeys from last years Thanksgiving sale, taking up space.

With 8 kids +2 parents, I think it would take a up my 25 cubic foot refrigerater/freezer, plus some in my standing freezer. I am curious to try this out more ways.

I used to do something similar to this, when grocery shopping was a fraught ordeal with 5 little kids. We did a 2 week grocery plan, with my husband running out to get just milk on the off-weeks.

I wrote this out for my sister who lives in the country 45 minutes away from her main grocery store, and 15 min from a more expensive grocery store, which is best just to get milk.

Once A month/Every Two Weeks grocery plan

Plan for 5 good dinners a week. [2 left over nights]. So that comes out to about 20-25 meals. Here is my master list of dinners we like.

Prep 5 dinners per category, so 25 gallon Ziploc bags, in the freezer ready for instantpot cooking. [Or crockpot]

Dinners with side of FROZEN VEG, and raw crunchy veg.

• Chicken [Prep 5 dinners from this from X pounds]
• Beef [Prep 5 dinners from this from X pounds]
• Ground Beef
• Lentils/Beans
• Fish/Cheese/Eggs 

Sample Grocery List [staples]

These aren't including stuff you normally stock up on, like vanilla extract, lentils, tomato paste etc.

• DAIRY [keeps well, coldest part of the fridge at the top]
• Butter [we use LOTS for all the growing brains]--[also freezes well]
• Cottage Cheese
• Sour Cream/Heavy Cream 
• Milk for Yogurt-making
• Yogurt, if you don't have any, yogurt for starter. You can freeze yogurt starter in batches. [the bacteria freezes fine] "Icelandic Provisions" introduced when the boiled milk hits 120 is the best. Dannon is good too. The key is to do the boil function on the milk, and introduce the starter when its at 120-115, and whisk it well.
• Milk---it takes up a lot of space, and expires. We drink about 1 gal/day. More on this later.
• Fresh Vegetables
• Leafy Vegs [need to eat within 3 days of purchase]
• Tomatoes [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Bell Peppers [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Cauliflower [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Cucumbers [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Celery [need to eat within 1 week of purchase]
• Carrots [will last the month]
• Red Cabbage, Beets [will last the month], 
• Onions, garlic, ginger [will last the month, also can freeze]
• Potatoes [if it is a hot summer, you will want to eat these in the first 2 weeks from purchase. Or cook in the instant pot, and then store in a tupperware in the coldest top back of the fridge]
• Frozen Vegetables
• Frozen Green Beans
• Frozen Brocolli
• Frozen Peas
• [Frozen Cauliflower]
• CHEESE [freezes well, esp the shredded stuff you want to freeze so it doesnt mold]
• Cheddar
• Mozzarella
• MEAT
• Chicken [bone in legs or thighs are usually cheapest, in 10 lb bags]
• Beef
• Ground Beef
• Canned Sardines
• Canned Tuna
• Frozen Tilapia
• Eggs [Can hardboil, or blanch, to lengthen storage, but I have found my eggs will last a month just fine. But you've got chickens!]
• Flour, Yeast, Sugar Salt [make your bread]

You can freeze butter, cheese, etc. Frozen Veggies are happy to live in the freezer for a few  months. And you must freeze the meat as soon as you get home, anyways. Get it out of the plastic and styrofoam trays, rinse it, salt it, and seal it in ziplocs and put in the freezer, to be thawed when needed.

So you really only need to go to the grocery store once a month for most meats if you are very organized with your freezer.  

The two biggest choke-points are fresh veggies and milk. More on this later.

Breakfasts

• First Week Breakfasts  [first week, for crunchy raw veggies]
• Fresh Veggies with a home-made hummus dip, or cheese dip.
• Tomato-mozz-basil slices.
• Devilled eggs and celery sticks.
• Cottage cheese or Yogurt with frozen berries/nuts for parfait, OR make Buercher Muesli
•  Custard or Ninja Egg Pudding
• Hummus or Cheese dip ['pub cheese' you can also make this yourself] and crunchy Vegs [cucumber, baby carrots, bell pepper, Celery]
• Scrambled eggs on toast
• Cast-Iron fried dinner Leftovers aka “Hash” [can use ninja blender to blend up leftover meat, potatoes, vegetables] + fried eggs on the side.

Lunches [side of fresh raw crunchy veg]

• Kyudumbap + Cabbage Salad
• Cheesey bread [fried in butter if feeling fancy] + Cabbage Salad
• Cheesey potatoes [precooked potatoes in fridge] + Cabbage Salad
• Fried Rice [dinner leftovers in a frying pan] + Cabbage Salad
• Hardboiled eggs + veg assortment
• Any of the ‘breakfast’ items here + Cabbage Salad

STAPLES TO KEEP IN THE FRIDGE

1.      Instantpot cooked potatoes, in fridge, to be fried [cut in half, fry in butter or lard, sprinkle with garlic salt]
2.      CABBAGE SALAD
3.      Hardboiled eggs [can do the Korean Pickled eggs, if your kids like them]
4.      Sauerkraut/Kimchi/KimchiKraut
6.      Freezer stocked with Green Beans, Peas, Brocolli [winco]
7.      FREEZER BAG to collect bones, FOR stock
8.      FREEZER BAG to collect leftovers---for hash, and for fried rice

Remember...THE FREEZER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

Other Staples to have on hand

Xylitol mints for teeth

The Main Challenges

Milk. It takes up space and does not freeze well. Even when I did the 'every 2 week grocery plan', Josh had to run out on the off-weeks and buy 6 gallons of milk. [our weekly milk usage, and usually all we could fit in the fridge.] This is where its good to have a plan to get milk on the off-weeks if possible. If this isn't an option, I think its possible to buy 12 gallons for 2 weeks, and consume all your milk as yogurt in the 2nd week. Or just eat lots of cheese in the intervening milk-less weeks.

Fresh Vegetables. The leafy ones [lettuce, fresh spinach] must be eaten within 3 days of buying. Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Celery, and Bellpeppers last maybe a week, depending. Cabbage and Carrots will last you the longest, up to a month [or more]. But thats a lot of cabbage and carrots to eat. You can get really creative with different cabbage salads. Hot Vegetables [cooked brocolli, buttered green beans, peas, frozen spinach---all from frozen vegs---can be eaten whenever. So you could end up with a system where the first week is the fresh crunchy vegetable week, and the remaining 3 weeks are lots of cabbage salad, carrots sticks, and Hot Vegetables (cooked frozen vegetables, in garlic and olive oil).]

OR....drumroll....the garden. It's amazing what you can get even out of a tiny garden.

You will get the best reward from your work with Herbs, Leafy Greens, and Tomatoes

Grow. 

Winter Garden

Leafy Greens [Spinach, Kale, Lettuce] by the truckload

Chives, Herbs, etc.

Cucumbers

[Hothouse] Tomatoes

[if you have space and time, all the other interesting stuff, beets to pickle, celery, carrots, brocolli, cabbage, etc. These tend to be cheaper than over veg at the grocery store, and easy to store like cabbage, or easy to freeze like brocolli, so I am less motivated to figure them out]

Summer Garden

Tomatoes

Bell Peppers

Gennip [sesame leaves...so delicious for everything]

Greens---new zealand spinach, Swiss Chard, some varieties of kale, Malabar spinach

Basil by the truckload---make into pestos for the winter

Yardlong beans [can take the  heat]

Armenian Cucumber/Snake Melon [cucumber that wont' go bitter]

Zuchini by the truckload

Two Poems written at 30,000 ft

 I flew to my sister's wedding, after not flying for about 7 years. I don't know if it was being refilled with kind stranger's blood ten times 2023, or if it is approaching middle age, but people feel so much more...precious. 

The people all around me, strangers, moving along. Sometimes it hits me just how vulnerable we are, our lives suspended over death by miracles we are not aware of. A few pumps of a heart muscle, a mis-timed squirt of air or oxygen...we can be broken so easily. 

Bustling about with our big plans and our daily worries, unaware, so fragile, precious, and human.

[Leaving]

I fly above the world

in a tube of tin

fragile wings outstretched,

caught in the wind

Silent humanity,

crushed within

A life-time of memories---hopes won or lost

Written in a kilogram of greymatter, 

packaged in wrinkled flesh and textiles.

An aging lady reads a romance

its crisp pages never to be turned again.

A middle aged man, potentials collapsed into a suit

 curly hair thinning, tinged with grey, 

with eager eyes consumes the free flight training

meticulously takes the quiz---how to bank, turn, landing, takeoff---

bound back to earth.

All yearnings of our souls, inchoate

Mute children, yearning for words [within]

each of us, elbows carefully at our sides

avoiding each-other's eyes.

My deep apologies for the bad metallurgy that I reduced my aircraft to, in an attempt to rhyme.

The man on my left felt like a Jewish businessman, carefully wearing a nice suit, probably on his way to some business meeting, probably. In boredom he fired up the screen, eschewed movies, and was taking a free pilot course complete with multiple choice-quizzes on piloting terminology and techniques. Banking and turning, when to put the flaps down, etc. He was going through the quizzes, with the eagerness of a preteen who has just discovered they can become a pilot. He had very curly hair, tinted with grey, thinning out. He looked about 40 or 45, when paths have long been chosen, careers have been baked in, and there isn't enough time to re-orient. But it was so easy to see the child in him...what he must have once looked like----a mop of curly hair over bright curious eyes, studying the world. But now middle aged, and all bound up in the respectable suit... it didn't seem to fit his true soul. As if he wore it almost like an ill-fitting uniform, that a good child donned to do the job required of him.

The woman's romance novel was some strange exploration into a possible ghost story or a widow or something, but falling in love with some poor guy who went by they/them. It wasn't your typical harlequin, I think, but it also was all about experiencing a romance, kiss, etc, that wasn't your own. It was odd. It felt like the sort of book one would never re-read. The sort of thing a moody writer writes in desperation trying to squeeze wind and kisses and sunsets out of a computer word-document. There's a sort of pathos to it, the graphic description of kisses, the attempt to summon up hypothetical beach sunsets that you haven't actually experienced enough of. As if your mind was a computer generator, hashing out fuzzy images of Microsoft back-drop screens, with ourselves crudely photoshopped into...longing for life. For wind. Hunched in a air-conditioned room, staring into an LCD monitor that is attempting to reconstitute the photons of a foreign sunset, looking for filling the hunger in our souls.

[Returning]

In a tube of hammered steel,

Frantically riding the wind

Rushing forward, jolting in its turbulence

Packed in, we neatly keep

Our elbows tucked, our heads forward, 

Furtive glances to catch

Bits of souls of the others, glinting though---

A ring, luggage patch, phone screen backdrop, half of a tattoo

What signs of loves, quirks, ideologies and selfhood chosen?

We collect in odd assortment in our pockets, during this mad race toward eternity

The tired middle-aged Indian man [strong, grey-frosted]

beside pulls down the shutter

closing his eyes.

We sit in darkness, lit by light-shadows of sudden brightness,

the few young window-dwellers who 

still sit by unshuttered portholes,

hungry eyes drinking in the sight.

Older ones outnumber them

Lean back weary arms crossed,

Seeking sleep

The attendant comes,

like good children we wait quietly,

sitting in our seats, eager anticipation,

hoping not to be passed over.

I nod off, coming to, afraid I have

missed the awaited treat

The tattooed curly haired beauty next to me,

handing the precious pretzel packets to me in shy solidarity.

I pass it to the Indian man beside me.

In silent fellowship we eat our pretzel packets,

Together

Ginger ale, tomato juice, and a whiskey

In silent communion we consume.

And then wait together.

Jolting again

Through the rough wind, invisible

Trusting that the darkened tube is still

sailing toward the earth

Towards that place

Where familiar faces and voices await us,

Home

There was something that almost made me cry, how we suddenly all became little children. The glamorous well-dressed curly-haired tattooed girl next to me, who probably doesn't agree with me on politics or religion or anything, waking me up so I didn't miss the snack. We may have all been in kindergarten, looking out for each other. I feel like I love her so much. With the love of a 6 year old who just was saved from snack-less-ness by the other 6 year old. Words may have ruined it, we would have disagreed about everything. But there was something about that silence, as if our souls were all lined up, silence stripping away our self-created identities, and just children inside. May God bless her abundantly.

Combatting Insomnia Round 2---breathing allergies cured by sardines [macrocytic anemia]---- Now onto glucose management!

I wrote about this earlier in my troubleshooting breathing issues with inflamed sinuses, and  combatting insomnia round 1

Breathing Issues Neutralized or Solved?

The breathing issues are gone---none whatsoever. Which may be why I'm getting a solid 6 hours now, instead of 3-4 hour chunks. [I used to wake up and then need to sneeze 3x and drink a hot cup of tea to calm down my sinuses to lie down again]

1.  Dust Free Sleep environment. Deep Cleaning my room!
1. I got all the exposed fabrics out of the room, clothes only in the closet or in a dresser. 
2. Washed curtains once a month. 
3. Washed my sheets every 7 days. BUT washed my pillowcases every 3 days. I picked up a bunch of 100% cotton pillowcases at the thrift store, and now throw pillowcases in with the other laundry constantly, to have a steady stream of clean pillowcases.
4. I washed my blankets & quilts and ran them through the dryer ever 2 weeks
5.  Mopped the hard surfaces
6. Was vigilant about not letting kids climb over my bed as a couch during the day. They track in pollens etc. Was vigilant about not sitting on my bed as a couch during the day as well.
7. Also, maybe the summer pollen count not being as bad as the fall/spring...
8. Ironically...getting more sleep. This is recursive. Interesting how my twin says her breathing issues get worse on sleep deprivation. That poor sleep actually increases allergies. [a destructive positive feedback loop here]
9. Air filter running (but I had this all along. I think with a dusty room it didn't help)
2. Fish Fix Also my twin got diagnosed with macrocytic (sp?) anemia, which is an anemia caused by some people with this gene needing stuff in sea-weed and sardines and daenjang....so Korean blood needs Korean food, I suppose. As my Korean mom always said "If I don't eat Korean food for 2 weeks, I get sick". So more sardines, more kimchi, more Miyeok Guk AND---macrocytic anemia causes worse respiratory symptoms, and exacerbates respiratory allergies. When my twin (with horrible dust-mite allergies) at a strictly Korean diet, all of her allergic symptoms went away.

Getting 6 hours, and able to fall back asleep afterwards, but struggling with tiredness....Glucose?

 I am now getting 6 hours a night, zero breathing issues. I don't even wake up sneezing, like I used to for months.

So now, when I wake up after 6 hours, I sometimes doze back for small trippy dream chunks. (Which I didn't used to be able to do). So that's a plus. BUT.....I will crawl out of bed, 8 hours after I went in, very tired still, despite being in bed 8 hours and having (I think) a solid 6 hours.

I will often mispell words (for me, a sign of sleep deprivation). Lately I have been spelling things like "King Arther" and "whent to the store". This is a sign I've had for 10 years, that I'm not sleeping well. But right now, its when I appear to be sleeping, but still wake up tired and can't spell.

I have trouble remembering, and generally feel overall crappy & tired.

From my research, excessive cortisol makes it hard to sleep long. AND having too much glucose in your blood at night also messes with sleep.

Glucose is my old enemy. I remember when I was taking my blood-sugars for my pregnancy with Irene, whenever I woke up so tired, waking blood sugar was over 85. When I woke up feeling extremely tire, more tired than when I went to bed, it was 95-100.

When I woke up feeling ok, it was usually in the 80-85 range. When I woke up feeling awesome, my waking blood sugar was 75. 

So sleeping with highish blood sugar (note, still within range for doctors saying its ok) but I could literally FEEL the difference between a waking blood sugar of 80 and a blood sugar of 95.

Back when I was battling gestational diabetes, I would eat nothing carb-y at dinner (I still ate green beans etc, with my lentil curry, so some carbs---but no grains, no wheat, no pasta, etc), and I would sleep better. Also, I had to eat early dinners, and no snacks afterwards---not even cheese or vegetables. I suppose this was a 'time restricted feeding' sorta thing, though I didn't realize it. I just knew that not eating for a good stretch before trying to go to sleep helped me wake up rested.

Breathing issues solved. Next up: Blood Sugar

1. Keep evening glucose LOW
1. Build muscle mass to help with glucose management----Lift 2x/week. GOAL: Gain 7 lb of muscle by Christmas 
2. Early (5/5:30pm) Low-Carb/Keto-ish Dinners? [make sure you eat more food earlier] 
3. ?Running machine to soak up glucose---but it must be a good bit before bed, so as not to spike your cortisol before sleep----you are all done by 7pm [so like 1 mile, resistance 5-10, right after dinner]
2. LIGHT and Circadian Rhythms
1. SUNLIGHT---20 min walk in the morning, in the early morning sunlight together. 6am
2. Make sure all the blue light filters are on on the computers
3. Meditate/give our worries to God/Pray together before bed by candlelight.
4. Find and set aside a Josh-Hannah talking time. And make it illegal for Hannah to talk after 10pm??? [then must go to our room by 9:30pm]
3. CLEAN AIR---Keep bedroom clean 
4. Fish Fish---eat Meukguk every Wednesday, Kimchi, Daenjang, and Sardines a few times a week to cure Macrocytic Anemia, and help with the Respiratory system.